I'd like to make a note that the info on this page is a little old. I need to re-write it... and eventually I will.

As you may have already read, my name is Aaron Wells Crutchfield. I am a 22-year-old soon-to-be-divorced white male. I grew up in Paso Robles, California (of recent earthquake fame; no one I know got hurt) then came to Fresno to pursue a degree in Computer Science. But once I got into what the Computer Science majors lovingly refer to as the “weeder” class, I took a path not often traveled. Most people either get an A or a B the first time, or flunk it three times and then change major. I did things differently--I realized I didn’t have a chance, so I dropped the class on the last possible day and changed my major to Mass Communication and Journalism, Print Media option. I made the Dean’s List my first semester under my new major, so I guess the change did me good for a while.

While I was in Fresno, I met Miss Right Now. I won’t go into too much detail, mainly because Miss Right Now seems to think she can sue me for posting stuff about my life on the internet. The suit wouldn’t stand a chance in court. Even so, litigation is a very time-consuming process. I married Miss Right Now on August 2, 2002, and we split up (again, permanently) on September 9, 2003. Amazingly enough, since then I’ve been able to afford my rent every month and I haven’t had any problems with gnats in the kitchen.

Since about the middle of October, I’ve been hanging out with this chick named Laurie. We’re trying to keep it at a slow pace, given the situation I’m in and given that she doesn’t want to get hurt again. Slowly but surely things are building up. But in the meantime, we’ve shared a lot of laughs and general fun times together. Plus, her family likes my spaghetti recipe.

But talking to Laurie has reinforced something I’d noticed a while ago. It seems as though the more people I meet and the more stories I hear, the duller and less entertaining my own stories seem.

Take for example my trip to Las Vegas with the Fresno State Marching Band. The football team was there to lose to Utah in the Las Vegas Bowl--er, I should say, the EA Sports Las Vegas Bowl--and so the band got to go to provide pep and play during halftime. I was still 18, so that makes it hard to gamble. I didn’t have many friends in the band, so I mostly spent the nights wandering aimlessly about the Excalibur and New York New York hotels, wishing I had something to do. Luckily, I found a McDonald’s in the Excalibur--the only one I’ve ever seen that sells generic soft drinks instead of Coca-Cola products--which helped me extend the buying power of my per diem of $24 a day. But when I got back on the bus to go home, another guy was bragging about spending all his per diem money on a lap dance. I don’t think I would have done that with mine, but at least he got to do something exciting. The only thing I did in Las Vegas that I couldn’t do in Fresno was drink generic soda at McDonald’s instead of Mr. Pibb. I think the highlight of the trip was finding and purchasing a bottle of Jones Soda with a picture of a long line at the porta-potties on the label.

I guess on my “about me” page, I should consider revealing a few factoids about myself, so here goes. I was born on March 14, 1981 at 2:47 p.m. in General Hospital in San Luis Obispo, California. My eyes are brown. So is my hair, although it’s such a dark brown it often looks black. I live in an apartment in Clovis, Calif. My favorite things to drink are Dr Pepper, Squirt and, lately, cheap apple juice. My favorite food is Lasagna. My favorite “empty-calories” candies are peanut butter cups and Tootsie Rolls. My music collection leans mostly towards rock, although pretty much every other variety can be found somewhere as well. I have a “minor” case of Tourette’s Syndrome, but most people don’t know it unless I tell them. This thing with selling Dish Network is still new, but I'm greedy so I'm looking forward to the mad bank I'll be bringing in. I have a very wide-ranging sense of humor, and I can also be very quick with a bad pun.

I can’t think of a whole lot else to put here for right now, so this will have to suffice. If you actually read this far, then I’m glad to see some of us still have long attention spans. One of my favorite bands is the Butthole Surfers, and some of their songs require fairly long attention spans to really enjoy.